First off, this site is specifically for “Verbal/Mental Abuse between a husband and wife within a “Christian” marriage. If you are suffering from PHYSICAL abuse, that is beyond me and the scope of this site, I am unqualified and inexperienced in such matters. Please refer to Lundy Bancroft’s web- page, he has links for physically abused women and the steps she should take. Blessings to you.
My journey may seem a foolish one to most people, but I am trusting in the Lord’s word that say’s “He makes all things beautiful in His time”. The beauty may not be here on earth, or within my marriage; it just may be in the realms of heaven. But my God is faithful and true, in Him will I put my trust.
For those women who believe as I do, when the word says that God hates divorce- it means- He really does hate it. So instead of finding loop-holes, and contingencies for doing something God hates; let’s try and seek the Lord, in His word and by the strength of the Spirit to persevere THROUGH this marriage. For we know that All things work together for good, to them who love God, to them who are called according to His purposes.
There are people who are born in hostile environments and are persecuted for their faith. They have to lean on scripture and trust in the Lord to get them through their times of trials and testing. They will have their reward. So when we are suffering through times of trials and testing, let’s get the same mindset to allow the Lord to carry us through, then we too may receive a reward for our obedience and stedfastness.
You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. That is the LAST thing the flesh wants to do but that is the first thing the Lord would have us do! In and of ourselves this would be a monumental, if not, impossible task. But we can take God at His word and proclaim…I CAN do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me. Pray the word, claim the word, live the word- have a victorious life even in the midst of pain.
When the apostle Paul was in chains and house bound in prison by the psycho emperor, Nero, what was his reaction? Was it an escape plan, was it depression, was it rebellion? No, he turned to the Lord and used his time there to encourage others, and bringing people to the Lord. To this day, 2000 years later, we can still rejoice in the fruit of this man’s obedience when we open up the epistles. Let’s take that example even when we are forbidden to leave the house, or have other punishments or restrictions placed on us, our husbands may mean it for evil, but God can use it for good-if we let Him.
I have walked this journey for 21 years, there are times when I have fallen at the feet of Jesus begging him to take this cup from me. There are times when I see the victorious fruit of His work in my life and the lives of my children. There are times of darkness and confusion- wondering what in the world am I doing this for?! There are times when I can almost see the heavenly Kingdom and the new life to come, which encourages my heart to persevere in this fallen and temporal world.
Romans 8:
13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
14For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
18For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
19For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
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You are free to go through the “Subjects” in any order you wish but I prepared them in this order:
1. Introduction
2. Abuse Profile (gathered from various sites)
3. Counseling with an Abuser (gathered from various sites)
4. Grounding our Relationship with our Lord
5. Persecution- our response
6. Pslam 119- Pattern
7. Thanksgiving
8. Assessing Change in the Abuser (gathered from various sites)
9. Women in Deed (coming soon)
10. Guiding the House & Training Children (coming soon)
11. Personal Testimony (coming soon)
Blessings upon you on this journey Through Abuse.
The contents within this site are only directed to those who have a relationship with the LORD Jesus Christ our Savior. It is only through Him and the work of the Holy Spirit can we walk “Through” this journey.
Being involved in a Verbally abusive marriage can really mess with your mind. The lies, the manipulation, control, slander etc can break us down and cause us not to think straight. It is important to renew our mind and come back to our “first Love”, Christ Jesus our Lord.
We need to remember that we should not place our comfort, attention, affection, happiness, protection, and desires on a man; but on the God who truly cares for us.
Ground yourself in the Word of God, so that when the storms come…(and you know they will!) you may be prepared to stand! Not reacting in the flesh, because in our flesh there dwells no good thing. But reacting in the Spirit, through His strength and Power, thus His protection, leading, and results.
Below are some verses that you can go over to re-establish your relationship with the Lord, helping to keep in mind the different attributes about him- remembering His great Love He has for us.
I like to print them out and meditate over them throughout the day. I underline, highlight and jot down other verses that come to mind. When my heart aches with pain and loneliness, I go running to His word and let Him speak Comfort and Grace to my broken heart.
Mercies upon you.
